27/07/2016

I am the sky



I wake up and look at my phone, it's 5.30 am, which is better than 5 am the day before or 4:30 am the week before. A quick calculation however tells me that if I don't get back to sleep, which is unlikely since the dawn light is already seeping through my curtains, then I still have 3 hours before I need to leave for work.

My brain immediately begins to spin these hours into an eternity and a whimper escapes from my throat as I feel the now familiar bulk of Loneliness pressing me down into the bed. Adrenaline flows through my arms and knees as my stomach is hollowed out and silent screams rush in to fill the void. My mind is urging me to fight or to flee from this feeling but all I know, in that moment, is that someone else is required to fight this and there is no one here.

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